


Potter'sLoverSayWhat - Drarry Crack

by dementordementor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, Gay Disaster Draco Malfoy, Gay Draco Malfoy, I wrote this instead of studying lol, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lesbian Pansy Parkinson, M/M, idk - Freeform, idk guys, inspired by prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementordementor/pseuds/dementordementor
Summary: Probably happened at some point from 4th year to 6th year. Inspired by the prompt:Pansy: It’s late. I’m heading off to bed, DracoDraco: Night, PansPansy *really fast*: Potter’sLoverSayWhatDraco: What?Pansy: *screams*
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 119





	Potter'sLoverSayWhat - Drarry Crack

**Author's Note:**

> Idk guys. I was high on serotonin and this was the result. It doesn’t have a plot or anything so just roll with it lol.

Pansy, Blaise, and Draco were all together seated in the quiet and lonely Slytherin’s common room. Draco was reading, as usual, Blaise was trying to do his Transfiguration homework and Pansy was practicing non-verbal spells.

“It’s late. I’m heading off to bed,” Pansy broke the silence.

“Yeah me too,” said Blaise getting up from his seat like Pansy. He walked away towards the boys’ room and disappeared from Pansy’s and Draco’s sight.

Pansy turned her back on Draco but before walking away, she said really fast and loud something Draco could barely understand, “Potter’sLoverSayWhat.”

The most common thing to do, Draco thought, was asking what she had said. “What?”

When Pansy let out a high-pitched scream, Draco processed her words and instantly blushed. Before he could do anything like hexing Pansy to shut up, she had already started to run out of the common.

“Parkinson! Come back here, you little excuse of a friend!” yelled Draco standing up and chasing after Pansy.

“I knew it, you fucking gay!” she yelled now running up the stairs of the dungeons. Draco didn’t know where Pansy was heading until he realized they were running towards the towers.

“No! Incarcerous!” Draco yelled pointing his wand at Pansy but she managed to avoid the spell. “Come back here you little shit!” kept yelling Draco now speeding up his path, if that was possible.

When they approached Gryffindor’s common room Pansy started to yell, “Granger! I knew it! Granger open up!” as loud as she could.

“What is all that fuss?!” asked the Fat Lady of Gryffindor’s portrait alarmed.

“Let me in! Let me in!” yelled Pansy desperate. She started to knock, or well, punch with all her strength the portrait.

“I can’t let you in without the password, you annoying girl!” yelled the Fat Lady.

“What is going on?!” yelled a rough voice. Filch the caretaker had arrived at the scene.

Draco was now close and yelled “Incarcerous!”

“Ahh!” yelled Pansy when the hex hit here. Ropes out of thin air wrapping her whole body immobilizing her.

“Nothing! There’s nothing going on in here!” said Draco grabbing Pansy by her feet and pulling her towards him.

“Let me go, you gay disaster!” yelled Pansy trying to grip the portrait unsuccessfully and hitting it again and again. “Granger! Open the portrait!”

“I’m calling McGonagal!” said the caretaker running fast away from them.

“What the hell Parkinson?!” Both, Draco and Pansy, turned to look at Granger, who was standing inside the common room, the portrait door was open. Her hair looked bushy as always, but mesier.

Pansy took advantage of Draco’s distraction and pulled her feet away from his grip.

“I told you! You own me five galleons!” she yelled at Hermione’s feet.

“Liberabo,” she said and the ropes around Pansy’s body disappeared in thin air just how they had appeared. “What are you talking about?! Couldn’t it wait for tomorrow?! It’s almost midnight!”

Pansy stood up to Hermione’s height and began to say, “Draco and Potter-!”

“Silencio!” yelled Draco interrupting her, pointing his wand at her.

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Ron’s voice came from inside the common room.

Harry was behind him and both of their hairs looked messy.

“Nothing! Parkinson it’s just crazy!” yelled Draco wrapping his arms around Pansy’s torso and pulling her back. Her mouth was fully open but no sound came out of it. She tried to kick and push Draco in vain.

Harry and Ron got at Hermione’s side watching the scene. Draco could devise other people inside Gryffindor’s common room.

“Draco what the hell?” Everyone turned to look at the rough voice coming from Draco’s back. “Disputatio!” yelled Blaise pointing his wand towards Pansy.

“Potter!” Pansy yelled being able to talk again, looking at Harry, “Draco’sLoverSayWhat!” she yelled just as fast as she had before. Draco tried to cover Pansy’s mouth with his hand. Then he let out a painful scream, Pansy had bitten his hand.

“Don’t answer!” yelled Draco but it was to late.

“What?!” asked Harry annoyed.

Two sharp, high-pitched screams echoed probably in the whole castle. Draco let go of his grip in Pansy’s torso, closing his hands on his ears trying to cover Hermione’s and Pansy’s piercing screams.

“Miss Granger! I would never expect this behavior from you! And Miss Parkinson… get up from the floor!” McGonagall and Snape had arrived at the scene, Filch on their backs with a sinister smile. McGonagall looke pissed and Snape just looked tired, as if he didn’t want to be in there. “What is everyone doing off their bed at midnight?! Miss Parkinson, Mr Malfoy and Mr Zabini-”

“I literally just arrived,” said Blaise under his breath rolling his eyes.

-your common room is not even this way,” she scold them not listening to Blaise’s comment.

“It was Pansy’s fault!” claimed Draco.

“Oh so _I am_ the excuse of a friend?!” she said turning to face Draco.

“Everyone, silent! And someone explain me what is going on! Miss Parkinson?” McGonagall asked him pissed.

“Draco and Potter are lovers!”

“ _We are not!_ ” Draco yelled.

“That’s all? That’s all this fuss?” asked Snape tired. Pansy blushed, McGonagall and Snape sighted loudly. “Miss Parkinson, this is _old_ news,” he said coldly.

“ _What_?!” Draco and Harry said choked at the same time.

“That’s enough! Ten points from Slytherin and Gryffindor!” claimed McGonagall.

“Hey!” complained Ron, “ _They_ are the ones making noise!”

“Miss Granger also screamed, Mr Weasley,” Snape reminded him. Ron crossed his arms roughly on his chest. “Everyone to their rooms. Miss Granger, Miss Parkinson, congratulations. You are just like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something a lot of people already knew about.” said Snape sarcastically.

“We are not-”

“That’s enough Potter,” scold him Snape. “Everyone to their rooms!”

Pansy approached Snape’s side and whispered something in his ear and a smirk took place in his face.

“Potter, Draco, detention the whole week,” he said smiling. McGonagall also carried a satisfied smile on her face.

“What?!”

“We are the victims here!”

“And the reason of this chaotic fuss. Now everyone to their rooms. Now!” ordered McGonagall.

Everyone made their way back again to their rooms and maybe Harry and Draco were vainly smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Go follow me on [my Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/drarrysht)  
> I have better works lol: [The day Draco Malfoy acted normal under a love potion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26554420), [Strawberries and Pajamas (Smut)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245933)


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